PARTING

Mother and her son started on their journey early in the morning, and they could hardly move. Further complicating the case was that they failed to exchange a few words, so each of them was in isolation to go through sorrow of their way.

Mother was doing her utmost to reach the place of destination before nightfall, so that her son would not fall a prey to the predator. Her son was feeling nervous, since he gained through much suffering and wanted to get rid of this woman once and for all. He dared not to appear in people’s presence; he had a short language before his friends. What the hell his mother was Armenian in the village’s public view? Why Did God punish him in such a manner? No, it was not God who sentenced him to these torments; it was this lifeless body which like a sleeping fly flashed across people’s eyes all the day long. If his father had not had his eyes on this Armenian, and, like other neighboring guys, married a respectable girl of the village, he would not have suffered so much.

Suddenly, he noticed that his mother’s face as if convulsed. To all appearances, her crippled leg ached so much that each her step left its imprint not only on earth but face as well.

When a body of her neighbor’s son was brought last summer from the front, the neighbor, irreparably rushed to the courtyard and, from all the strength, struck his mother on the leg with a piece of ironmongery. Despite an awful pain, mother did utter a word. It was senseless, since neither her husband, nor her son would have taken her part. For a week, with a small daughter in her hands she had been hiding in the corner. And now, treading on her crippled leg she remembered her sick daughter that stayed at home.

For several days, the child had been feverish from high temperature. A doctor came to examine her as saying that the child had not caught cold: she was frightened only. On leaving home, he severely instructed mother to avoid raising her voice in child’s presence.

Without a single word, mother was walking in front of her son, and suddenly she wanted to say a few words, just one phrase “take care of my child”. Yet, she restrained herself and moved on quicker, treading on her crippled leg.

Meanwhile, brother recalled his sister. He was in hurry for nothing; it was necessary for him to wait until his sister got better. She must have wakened up and been delirious, calling for her mother...

To hell with her! The devil take her! It was she that brought disaster upon their home, was not she? She was ill-starred to court disaster upon everything. Had there been anyone hitherto to reproach him for Armenian mother? Instead, all women held her up as an example. It was a woman that lamented at funeral and danced at weddings.

- Get a move on, daughter of a bitch!

This word escaped his lips quite unexpectedly. In fact, he meant to ask if leg was still aching.
With great difficulty, his mother quickened her steps. Oh God! Her first-born loved his younger sister to distraction! She had always felt this timid love. Before her daughter came to the world, her son seemed to be somewhat estranged, obedient, half-born… She appeared, and he got firmly established. The boy was deficient in something, but the girl came and filled emptiness in his soul. This idea flashed across her mind, and she felt a sense of relief. No, her children were not in need of her any longer; they took care of themselves and seemed to survive.

In the meanwhile, her husband seemed to be able to do without her. In fact, he did not care, whether his wife had been with him or not. The point was not about his wife only. Even if God had presented him with ten children, and seven of them, for some reason, disappeared, he would not have shown any interest in where they got to. He asked her nothing throughout twenty years they lived together. In the first years of their life together he gently asked her “let’s begin” but received no answer. She was confident that he would not notice her disappearance at all.

He would show no interest in where she disappeared so unexpectedly even in three, five or ten years. Perhaps, he would not understand why she became his wife. To put it bluntly, once upon a time he saw that there had been somebody near him. Next day, he would find out that there had been nobody by him, that’s all. His lifeless body seemed to be insensitive, with neither zest, nor spark of life. She realized that in her first conjugal night.

- Take care of your father!

The hell with my father! I have nothing to do with my father!


There was no end to the road. Early in the morning when he hurried mother for the start of their journey, he left the house hoping to come back before dark. Perhaps, he miscounted. The sun had set, but no mother’s village showed up in the skyline. Suddenly, fear seized him. How would he return far into the night? Indeed, the road cannot be so long. He had the road at his finger-tips. Once upon a time, jointly with his mother he walked across the road to visit his grandfather. And every time, they reached the place before dark. Before the dark came, they had time enough to rub shoulders with grandfather, take supper and even clear the table. Why is the road so long?

- Get a move on, daughter of a bitch!

This time, son’s voice sounded somewhat wanly; so tired he was that had no strength enough to utter a word. An idea flashed across his mind: it was not late to come back. They could have stopped where they had been, and happily returned home. He was about to say “mummy, let’s come back” but remembered her yesterday’s words which drove him out of his wits and made him follow this path.

- Why don’t you let them feel easy at their own home?

Son said nothing in reply, yet, all the night long he tossed and turned, not slept a wink pending morning.

Who are these unfortunate wretches?

Whose house is it?

When it was about to dawn, he went to wake his mother up but saw her widely open eyes. In all probability, uttering no word in the evening she felt her son come waking her up at dawn, so she closed no eyes. On seeing her son, she did not lose her head; she got up, smoothed out her clothes and came out silently.

“Why don’t you let these unfortunate wretches live quietly at their own home?” - In giving her own view on the situation, mother tried to restore peace and tranquility but the effect proved to be opposite. She realized this as far back as in yesterday evening, and criticized herself severely all the night long. However, it became no possible to remedy the situation, since nothing would have had any effect on her son any longer. His patience was exhausted. So they had walking from the early morning: mother ahead, and her son behind, and nothing seemed to break this sequence.

It was too late for them to go back, son said to himself. Even the road itself seemed to get tired; he imagined that it grew soft; heaved like the sea. And mother and son had reached the very middle of this sea. Their restless souls broke down, so son had no strength enough to shoulder his mother and swim back across the sea.

- Make haste! – mumbled son, but dared not to curse her this time. His anger seemed to cool down.

And straight away he came to himself; he imagined having a bad dream. – Where is his mother leading him to? How could it have occurred to him?

A strange tremor embraced his body as if his soul, frozen till now, began thawing out little by little.

Then words reached him from afar: “Give my mother back!”

It was the voice of his sister.

Something broke inside. Was it coincidental that he heard his sister’s voice? He slowed down the pace. So did his mother. She seemed to have heard her baby’s voice.

-Take care of your sister!

Then she disappeared in the darkness of the road leading to the village with lights shimmering now here, now there.

***

So mother faded away, and the darkness remained as it was. He had never seen anything like this: it was pitch dark. Hence, everything was over, he showed his mother to the unfortunate wretches and succeeded to get rid of this woman for ever. So he could turn back. In fact, he breathed with relief: he got rid of not only his mother but his past as well, now he was stark naked. Oh, God! He felt easy, tranquil and …spiritually bankrupt.

Oh, God! You are infinitely magnanimous. You have saved my soul from troubles.

Thank God!

He wanted to cheer up, and liberate himself, both inwardly and outwardly, from all alien, superficial, and then come back as entirely different person. He had scarcely turned to move back when he saw a wolf before him. Strange it was but he saw nothing of the wolf in this beast. Evidently, the beast treaded on his heels from the moment he and mother started their journey.
Pursuing his prey, the wolf got so much accustomed to these two human beings that they were of no interest for him as a piece of meat.

He returned home late at night. All lights in the village were off, not a soul was there. However, gates of their house were wide open. All of a sudden, he remembered his sister he left alone in the morning with high temperature.

He did not remember what occurred next.

2005

Translated by Ali Efendiyev